The Pilcrow

The pilcrow is a stylin’ being in the world of punctuation.¶

The pilcrow goes to herring parties. The pilcrow orders Campari at bars and slicks its hair back with the finest water-based pomade. Like that tornado you used to doodle, the one with the wrinkly eyes, daring nose, and slicked-back hair. Your tornado doesn’t order Campari at bars, though. Ol’ Tornie the Tornado hasn’t even been to a herring party, which is where the pilcrow had its first Campari. The pilcrow has, of course, been to DOZENS of herring parties, but the one with the Campari was its favorite.¶

The pilcrow began with a bottle of water-based pomade. You won’t read this in Glymdrápa, but King Harald Fairhair (called “Har FarHar” by his “friends” - just ignore them, thanks) is the father of the pilcrow. One morning, as he was tending to his formidibly fair hair, he opened a new jar of pomade, laughed at it, waited, tried to swirl it around a little, then poked at it tentatively. This was all what he normally did to his pomade. That day, however, Harald’s exact strirring pattern combined with the recent unification of Norway was too much for the (water-based) pomade to contain. The pilcrow was fused in the depths of the jar, and emerged more quickly than you’d expect. Harald jumped a little when he saw it, but stayed cool overall.¶

Fairhair quickly declared to his (recently unified) kingdom that this being would be known as the pilcrow. This name was chosen due to the mark’s resemblance to the mascot of the local sailing team, the Pilcrow Panthers. Not sure what that “Pilcrow” was named after, sorry. The “Panthers” part was named after the variant of large cat, which are vicious and cunning and very sweet. (Not! They’re not sweet.)¶

Also, the pilcrow has bluetooth. That’s handy!¶

This article is part of a series on punctuation. It’s pretty much all made up. Don’t underestimate the prowess of a panther, though. You’ve been warned.